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Health & Fitness

There's Something Lovely Happening at the Bethel Senior Center

Story and Photography by Paula Antolini


Moments In Time Remembered: Seniors Write Their Memoirs

On Friday, September 6, 2013, a room in the Bethel Senior Center was filled with senior citizens holding little bits of paper with hand written notes on them, as they each took turns reading aloud about memorable moments in their lives. Other seniors eagerly listened to every word.  Some had trouble getting through certain parts of their reading, as memories came rushing back that brought strong emotions.

Most of the memoirs are about little moments in time that had valuable meaning to them and brought them pleasurable memories, but some are ways they remembered the tough times too. However, these memories, which could mean so much to their families and friends if saved, are what made it so important that the seniors document their thoughts before the recollections are lost forever.  

Listeners soon realized it was easier to write about their memories than they had originally thought.  Some of the seniors are quite talented writers, interjecting humor as they read about their personal memories, producing laughter in the room from other seniors enjoying their story telling.

This project began when Bethel resident Bob Becker, age 65, who owns a Bethel video production company named "Bob Becker Communications" for 14 years, was looking to do a new project and felt that seniors writing their memoirs was an important aspect in a person's life that needed to be documented.

Becker also had done a lot of similar legacy work for many corporations, such as Lockheed Martin, when he interviewed former CEO's in their 70's and 80's.  "Lockheed wanted to preserve the stories of how the company was built, and the culture, based on ethics not politics," Becker said.

He approached the Senior center director Lisa Plumb, and eventually a class was formed where Becker is now teaching seniors how to approach the task of writing down their thoughts. "At first only three people showed interest in the class" Becker said, "but since then, interest in memoir writing has grown, along with class attendance," he said.

On this day the seniors in this class ranged in age from 66 to 84.  Participants were Bethel residents Linda Pace age 66, Jane Ventrella age 84, Alan Pirrie age 80, Herb Watson age 79, and Danbury resident Karen Griswold age 70.

Becker said that for most seniors it was an overwhelming thought as to where to begin. He immediately put them at ease by reiterating some of his own personal memories, which included his Mom passing away at an early age in his life. Becker told the seniors that before the "how-to" it's the "why-to," and his teaching goes on from there.

Becker also notes that he has written his own "spiritual journey and memoir," entitled "I Am of Love, I Know This To Be True," whose theme is "be present in this moment" he said.  

Becker suggests starting with important memories first, or ones that stand out to them, rather than trying to document their lives from the beginning to the present moment, or the earliest thoughts first. He also suggested, "Write down ten things that you remember in your life."

Linda Pace commented, "People say my emails are wonderful" and urged her to write her memoirs.

Jane Ventrella had a pile of hand written notes in front of her, stories she had written over the years, but she indicated she did not know what to do with all of them.  Becker suggested turning on a recorder and just reading the pages aloud "so you will have a record," he said.

Just as every life is unique and different, story topics have a wide range too.

Karen Griswold's story themes centered around precious dolls she remembered, that she loved.  She spoke about a favorite doll that had fallen into a crevice in her home when she was a child, and the doll was then unable to be retrieved.  She said her Dad had told her that when she got married he "would take the house apart" and give the doll to her then.  Griswold said, "That's the last thought I had on my marriage day!"

Since seniors have lived through war time, many memoir stories included this topic too.  Alan Pirrie wrote about how there was a "buddy system" rule in the armed services, that a soldier should never venture out alone, and how his friend George was killed because he did not follow this rule. Linda Pace then mentioned that her husband was in the Vietnam war. "They don't  always tell people what happened," she said. She told about how the military would send wives a generic photo, circling a part of the body that was injured, "So you might think the worst," Pace said.

Herb Watson became very emotional when he recalled a story about seeing a military hat in a store while he was with his Dad, when he was a young child, and upon asking his Dad about it he was told it belonged to General MacArthur.  He then asked his Dad if he could try the hat on, his Dad said yes, so he put the hat on.  Watson almost became teary-eyed as he remembered the moment fondly, and had to stop reading for a second or two. The experience meant a lot to him as a young boy.

Something wonderful is happening at the Bethel Senior Center.  People are remembering their lives, and sharing good times in the present moment.

The classes take place at 1:00 p.m. on Fridays at the Senior Center in the Clifford J. Hurgin Municipal Center in Bethel, CT.  To register to participate in the memoirs class call the Senior Center: (203) 792-3048 or (203) 794-8593 Monday - Friday, 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m..




        

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