No longer a parent?

I no longer wipe bottoms. I no longer remind children to wash their hands after bathroom use. I no longer buckle up seat belts – rather I shout from the top of the driveway, that everyone needs to be buckled before I reach the end of the driveway. I no longer tie shoe laces. I refuse to buy Velcro shoes to force the independent shoe lace tying in the house. I no longer push kids on swings because everyone pumps.

I no longer floss or brush teeth, fix hair, fix belts or find cool clothes. Children in the house are now old enough to get dressed, do laundry, put clothes away and whine that they don’t have enough clean clothes even though the laundry machines run 24/7.

Everyone finally says please and thank you without too many dirty looks from me. Everyone finally brings dishes up to the sink. We are not quite at the stage where chores are done automatically. Chores still require a loud voice and mean looks.

At stores, I give children 22 minutes exactly to find their own clothes and I meet them at the changing room. I still have the last say in the purchase just because I am holding the wallet, but they are now quite capable of selecting their own fashions.

Everyone knows their own allergies off by heart. Everyone knows the rules of the food in the house – no dessert before dinner…no snacking between meals.

Am I done yet? Is my job finished as a parent?  Alas, no.

My job description has changed completely and no one told me.

I’m guiding.

I’m facilitating.

I’m advising.

I’m surreptitiously dropping hints about the job market and how it relates to a solid college education. I’m reluctantly distributing weekly monies, commonly known as allowances but running out of bribes and reasons to hold it back.

Unfortunately there is a positive correlation between children opinions and their age. I now have 3 back seat drivers who remind me constantly about the speed limit and who don’t allow me to drive with one hand. I now have 3 fashion advisors who  comment about my choice of work clothes as I run out the door in the morning.

I now have to remember several email passwords, Facebook logins and phone numbers just so I can keep checking their online presence to make sure they are maintaining appropriateness. I have to remember who is going to what house for play dates or who is walking home from school.

Fortunately, I do have a person do mow the lawn. I do have someone to get the mail.

I realized now that we are a houseful of roommates – all with big and very different personalities and everyone needs their own space and their own free time just to be themselves.

My job has changed. I still like it because I love my kids. Change isn’t easy but some changes I’m enjoying. I’m still needed. I’m still a parent.  I just wish someone would finally give me a manual to read. It’s exhausting discovering the right way to parent after the fact! Thankfully though, the hugs keep coming. We still do movie nights even though the movies are no longer PG. We still read together – it just happens to be parallel reading - on the same couch while everyone reads a different book.

I guess I’ll always be a parent but I’m no longer wondering when I’ll learn how to do parenting the right way.  I’m absolutely positive I’ll never know.