Law & Order: UK, Killed by Coyotes, Confessions

Law & Order: UK, 9 p.m., BBC America
If, like me, you mourned the untimely death of the original L&O, could not stomach the plot lines of SVU, and hated the loss of Goren and Eames from CI, then rejoice at the arrival of the British version of our favorite procedural. It’s awesome, and in court they all wear wigs. Plus they make the witnesses and the defendant stand up the whole time. That alone would speed things up in the U.S. 

Killed by Coyotes, 10 p.m., NatGeo
“A Canadian folk singer becomes the first adult human in recorded history to be attacked and killed by coyotes.” Reminds me of the scene in Animal House when the folksinger is on the stairs crooning “I gave my love a cherry” and D-Day smashes the guitar to bits. I know, I’m sorry. But it does.

Confessions: Animal Hoarding, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
“A heartbroken man replaces his lost wife with a herd of Mastiffs.” Can you even imagine the mountains of dog poop? I cannot even imagine.